Minggu, 02 Januari 2011

The Selfish Memory ..^^

We have lots of memories, each and every one of us, fully recorded ever since your first cry was heard.
Loud or clear, you didn't even remember. It just went on to three years ahead, you instinctively did.
When you hunger for food and love, you cry. And Mom will always be there, those who are lucky to be granted with a loving Mom..

Since then, memories have been woven into your lovely soul. Soul, the place inside somewhere in you, where you keep every aspect of yourselves. Your souls, every single one, that makes you different from others. Your first walk, your first ride, your first smile. Those memories are written deep inside without you even knowing it, so that you will never forget how to walk, how to talk, how to smile..

As you grow up, memories become clearer and clearer. You remember your first day in school, your first fight with a bully. You remember the color of your first bike. You remember how it feels to fall from the bike, you remember how you got up and tried. Still, you don't realize that some memories of old times start to fade away..

You can't really recall the day when you were sleeping helplessly in your Mom's arms while she lulled you to sleep. You can't really remember the song that was played whenever you slept in that tiny bed of yours. Some memories start to lose their way in you..

They are not gone, no. They never really go away. When you smile at a child, when you smile at a little baby sleeping peacefully, you can feel the same. You can feel peace, you can feel warmth. At that time, you were accessing the memories of your own babyhood. It is odd, you can't remember what it looks like, you don't know the detail. But you do know how it felt, you can touch the thinnest thread that holds everything together, something that you can never forget. The sole feeling that you experience while your whole body was weaving the memories into your soul. That will never fade away.

Upon thinking about this, I start to wonder why can't we decide which memory to keep, and which to let go? Why am I still haunted of the past memories? While some good old memories never seem to come back, some bad memories constantly show up, and I have to deal with it bitterly. I wonder if this happens to others as well.

Someone told me about how hard it is to erase a feeling that's already been attached firmly in your soul. I can't agree more, for I also can relate to how it feels. At the same time it aches, at the same time it makes me smile. Not much, just a little squint at the tip of my lips. But it never really go away. I wish I can just let it go. I really wish I can.

But I soon realized how stupid the whole idea is. If we can decide what to remember and what to forget, we will all be very forgetful people, and none of the growth and sophistication of mankind will ever be known, until now. Ever since the invention of writing system, knowledge has been preserved for the youth to learn, and thus concludes why memories should never be forgotten with purpose. We should cherish whatever we have. May it bad, may it good. We just have to learn to live with it.

by : Yanita Cinta Marito Rajagukguk ..
hahahhayy ..

dedicated to my beloved teacher in Australia Center Medan Ms. Sarah Shweldyn ..
two days ago she asked me what do you think about the selfish memory ? what do you do if you do not have memories in childhood , I don't remember my memories of childhood, because I didn't have good memories of childhood and I hate my childhood ..
two days ago I could not answer it but now I can answer it ..
hahhaha ..
thank you Ms.Sarah for your question ..

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